Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
