I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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