Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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