You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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