i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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