i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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