I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
