Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
