He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
