im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
