I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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