well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
