Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
