He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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