forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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