I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
