Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
