Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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