just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
