wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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