I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
