You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
