umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she looked like the before picture.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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