There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
