if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
