we're blogging at a bar
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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