someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
