This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
