I bet he comes in French.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
