I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
