The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
4 words: hood of his car
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
