I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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