I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
