i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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