I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
