I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
