When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
