thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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