Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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