It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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