Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
