I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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