I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just found puke in my bra..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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