I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
