Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
