my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We got so high we made milksteak
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
