I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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