Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
