This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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