dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
